via adkins-spears · originally by gegegetitout
  • tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
  • new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
  • tourist: oh you think you're clever???
  • new yorker: what
  • tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
  • new yorker: oh... oh i'm so sor
  • tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
  • the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
posted 3 hours ago with 2 notes
posted 3 hours ago with 5 notes

flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

via i-mean-iguess · originally by flutterlings

steelplatedhearts:

Alternate title for The Great Gatsby:

I Am Uncomfortable With Your Personal Drama And I Want To Go Home: The Nick Caraway Story

via lovenotforgotten · originally by steelplatedhearts
via mokiki-sloppyswish · originally by theflamingzeppo

anintrovertedlife:

quoth the thatsmoderatelyraven nevermore

posted 8 hours ago with 2 notes
Track Title: Ashley's Song

Artist: Tomoko Sasaki

Album: Super Smash Bros. Brawl - Vol. M: WarioWare

nintendocompositions:

Super Smash Bros. Brawl | Ashley’s Song